Almost 5 Months

Working right now but the programs I use run very slow. So as I discharge people from our computer, I thought I would bring this up to date. Lily is going to be five months old in less than a week. It really has gone very fast. When she first came, I don't think I thought I would ever say that. Looking back though it really has. Lily can sit up now pretty much without help. She still looses her balance and does face plants in the carpet. I try to only have her sit on soft things until she gets that under control.
Most of my family is very involved in her life. It is important to me that they get to know her. She is very special. I know everyone thinks that of their own child but it does not make it untrue. She has a lot to offer and teach us if we take the time to get to know her. I worry about my dad. I don't know if he reads this. I really don't know who he is anymore. He does not seem to want to be involved with us. I know he is going through his own thing but I don't want Lily to miss out on her grandfather. I barely remember mine and I wish he was around longer for me to learn from him, to remember him more. Lily deserves that much.
Family is a weird thing but it is so important. If we loose touch with that, how alone we can feel.

12 Weeks Old

Lily has just turned 12 weeks old. She is beautiful. We have been enjoying her more and more every day as she learns to reach for toys and cry when she can't eat real food. She wanted pizza very badly the other day. Her first disappointment. It has been the best and hardest time of daily life. I have never been so consistently tired for such a long stretch of time. I am getting better though at coping with it day to day and every now and then I feel rested. Tyson helps a lot. He is so tired too. He has been taking a few classes on top of working so he does not have much free time to himself. That will all change soon in a couple weeks. We have started going to a church really close to us. It feels comfortable enough. A coffee shop feel, modern, alive. At least that is how it comes off. We will try it out for a while. I think we still need a place to just be vegetable lasagnas. We are good at that.

Right now Lily is sleeping. She is down for her long nap of the day. I should be working but the server has been down since yesterday. Not a good time for this to happen. I have so much to do. But, who am I to argue with technology and free time. The weather has been threatening rain but I have only seen a trace of it. I love the rain and storms. They are much bigger than I am.

I suppose I will leave with that. I am having groceries delivered and they should be here any minute.

9 weeks old

My baby is 9 weeks old now. The time is going by so fast. She loves to stand up and walk up us (we have to hold her of course). She has been doing this since she was about 6 weeks old. She is really good at holding up her neck too. Since she was born really. She smiles, talks (goos), and kicks things.
It is so weird to watch someone so little develop into a person. Oops, she is waking up now. I will say more later. Hunger calls!

And You Are...???

I am still on my maternity leave but I have been working at home. I am very grateful for this because I can take care of Lily and work while she sleeps. Some days are easier than others as you can probably imagine. I am actually working right this second. I have a job that George Jetson had: I push a button all day long. This is not my normal job though. I created it by making an awful mistake while I was getting some people's bills together for the end of the month. It can be reversed but it is a long process that means pushing the same button over and over again all day long. Mind numbing really although it has been nice because I can hold and feed Lily and push the button at the same time. Still, I would rather feel productive.
As much as I love being a mom, and I really do love it, it has been an adjustment for me to not be as productive as I usually am. Not just with work but with the rest of my days as well. Don't get me wrong, I was never a very productive person but I could take a shower without having to worry about what other people were doing and could go to the bathroom whenever I wanted. Eating lunch, cleaning, making sense, have all taken a back seat to a baby who needs me. It makes you look at life a little differently. Do I really need to put on make-up today? Do I really stink or can it wait until tomorrow? My husband is great and really tries to take the reins as much as possible but even with that, there is still not enough time in the day for life and not enough time in the night for sleep. Aaawww sleep.
I know this is not specific to just my life. This story has been told before and I am not even feeling sorry for myself. Things will get better over time and they already have. Still, I wanted to mention these things.
Sure doesn't help either when you get clumsier with every waking hour. I threw a spoonful of dessert all over my shirt the other day because I burnt the hand holding the spoonful on the skillet the dessert came in. This burn led me to fling the spoon towards my shirt and covered it in ice cream, butter, syrup, pancakes, and nuts. By the way, a great dessert at Applebees. I have done many more things to make me feel less in control of myself and my thoughts.
I do not think I will ever be the same. How could I really? I am a mom. I am a wife. I am a billing specialist. Not to mention an daughter, sister, friend. There may not be enough time so I will try to spend it doing the most important things. I will try to make sense when I talk. I will try to listen when other people talk. There are the new days my life holds for me and I would like to stop missing them. I can't let them fly by.

Lily Elizabeth

As promised, here is our daughter Lily!

We are so excited she is here. She was born April 21, 2008 and weighed 8 lbs 5 oz. She is now 4 weeks old today. The time has gone fast and then again, it has been a long 4 weeks. I ended up having to have a C-section because she was trying to push her little head through but could not seem to do it. I have to say that was one of the most tramatic experiences of my life. I still look back to it and shutter. I know I am not the only one who has ever gone through this but I will never forget it. I know that part of it was the physical pain that I felt. They said there would be stretching and pulling and I would just feel the pressure but I felt pain. I know I did. After she was delivered, the Dr. gave me some pain meds that did not really take away the pain but they took away my awareness. I did not regain it until I was back in the delivery room and they handed me by daughter. I really had my heart set on having a natural delivery, and by natural I mean I still wanted the drugs. I wanted to experience the delivery process. I would be lying if I said that I don't have waves of disappointment some times but I really am so happy she is here. She has changed our lives in ways I could have never imagined. I never thought I could fall in love with a little baby but I have. I never thought I could love my husband more than I already did but I do. He is the greatest father already.

Well, that is all for now.

It's been a while

Here I am facing the due date of my first child. She is due on the 17th of this month. It has really been a wonderful pregnancy. I can't complain. I have heard so many horror stories of bed rest and weight gain and to think that I am almost done without too much trouble is a miracle. Not that I have not gained weight but it was a lot less than I expected to. Hopefully I can loose it quickly when the baby is born. We have decided to name her Lily Elizabeth. Tyson came up with it for the most part and I love it.

Five days away from the due date that felt like it would never come. If she does not come naturally by then, the Dr said that we could wait one more week but then we would have to induce. I would rather she come naturally when the time is right but I have been trying to help things out a bit by taking walks and cleaning the house. It's can't hurt. I have also been told to take a bumpy car ride and to eat spicy foods. All these "home remedies" for a stuck baby.

I feel well but I am mostly tired for most of the day. I know this is nothing compared to how it will be after she is born but at least it is more understandable to be tired then. It is a weird feeling knowing that you have napped throughout the day and are still tired with no motivation to do anything. I do have my bursts of energy and that is when the real work gets done.

I am looking forward to meeting her. I think I am going to like her. I know Tyson is going to be the greatest father ever known. He is so gentle and kind. Lily is really lucky to be getting a father like him. It will help her so much in life. I can't help but think that she is going to teach me a lot about how to love people. I know this is not the same but I love my dog a lot. She misbehaves at times, especially when we first got her, to the point of us getting so mad at her but at the end of the day she is still ours and we lover her. It is hard for me to imagine how much more I will love my own daughter. I know it will be so much greater that the love I have for my dog. How could it not help me to love others?

So, as the days are counted down and I feel more huge than I ever thought I could, I am ready for the changes that are coming. I guess my partying days are over (ha) but I welcome what is next. Scary sure but a good kind that will make us grow together as a family. It will probably be a while before I am able to write again.

Girl Talk

The holiday season is here and I am off of work for the next 5 days. I can't remember the last time I was off for this long with out being sick or doing some other type of work. It has been a weird few weeks for me. I guess you could say all those pregnancy hormones are making me a little loopy. My thoughts just don't run in a fluid motion anymore. I go blank in the middle of a conversation. I get lost in the supermarket. Spill things. Oh, it is great. Then, the emotional element is another story. I can cry at the slightest offence, real or perceived . If there really is something sad, I am a bawling wreck. I am starting to get stretch marks and holiday weight.
I am really not complaining though. As much as my back hurts sometimes or I don't feel like I can get through the day, I consider this whole experience an honor. God is entrusting us with a person who he already knows. He thought we would be the best ones to take care of her. So, I just went out and got a hair cut!

Yes, we are having a girl! The doctor said he is 98% sure but to save the receipts just in case. When we had the ultrasound, she was curled up in a ball and had her legs crossed so she was a little bit of a challenge. The staff was really great though. They were patient and finally she moved enough so that they felt confident that it was a girl. We are both so excited. Tyson said that he is looking forward to taking care of his girls (me, our daughter, and our dog Annie). He is going to be a great father.